When you have struggled to get pregnant and had 3 chemical pregnancies, once you are pregnant it is a giant relief. You’ve done it! You’re expecting! You want to shout it from the roof tops and dance from place to place. Then you take a deep breath and realize … you’re expecting and with the reason for the chemical pregnancies still unknown. As you gently caress your still-flat belly, placing hands where baby is growing, you wonder “baby, are you ok?”.
Everything that is part of a normal pregnancy – cramps, pains, aches, nausea, becomes a source of worry. You wonder if this is normal cramping or is to too much or too little? Nausea – are you having too much or too little? Is the lack of nausea a sign that the hormones aren’t rising to the right level? Is the sudden onset of round ligament pain early in the pregnancy a sign that the baby has implanted in a less than ideal spot? The worry that my husband and I felt over everything for those first 10 weeks seemed amplified. After 3 losses and being given something that we had wanted for so long, we were worried about losing another pregnancy.
Everything that is part of a normal pregnancy – cramps, pains, aches, nausea, becomes a source of worry.
At 6 weeks, 2 weeks after I had been told I was pregnant, we went in for our first ultrasound. With baited breath, we watched our little miracle dance on screen. Rolling, waving and sucking his thumb – there was a new life growing inside of me and we could see that all was well. Then we discussed our concerns with our OB/GYN. I, being adopted, didn’t have a full family history and we were worried that our chemical pregnancies could mean genetic abnormalities. We both felt that it was important to know sooner than later so that we could prepare or make any necessary decisions. We had silently agreed not to discuss any options unit after the test results. We didn’t want to borrow trouble.
We scheduled the genetic testing and were told that we were candidates for the new blood testing. We had to wait until I was 10 weeks pregnant to take the test, but a simple blood draw would confirm (within 95%) whether our child did/didn’t have any of the major genetic disorders including trisomy 21 and trisomy 18. Then, we had to wait another 2 weeks until we got the results.
Ten days passed and I called, but they still didn’t have the results back.
Twelve days passed.
Then fourteen. Another call and I was told that the still didn’t have the test results.
Finally, at day fifteen my phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize. I anxiously answered it, while on my lunch break at work. A nurse was on the other line and they had the results and they had come back negative. Negative, in this case, means that there was no genetic disposition for trisomy 21, trisomy 18 or any of the other genetic tests which they had run. As the nurse was giving my results, I felt myself getting lighter and more excited and my fear faded away. Then, the question I would never forget “would you like to know the sex of the baby?”
Rand and I had agreed that we would learn the sex of the baby with the genetic test. Although, many people feel that the 20 week gender reveal ultrasound is a penultimate moment in a pregnancy, we just wanted to know so we could begin bonding and naming our little bundle. I was certain I was having a boy, but most people were convinced that I was carrying a girl. My husband and I had discussed names but we couldn’t agree on a boy’s name. I was more trendy with ideas like Thatcher, Asher and Lincoln and he was more old-school with names like Jeremiah, Joshua and Isiah. We had narrowed down the list of girls names to two top contenders, so it seemed that everyone was right and we were on track to have a girl.
I told the nurse “yes” and she said “It’s a boy! Congratulations!” I thanked her and then we ended the conversation. I paused about 20 hot seconds before calling my husband on the phone and giving him all the news. He was thrilled and then said “Let’s talk about names when I get home. I have an idea.”
On my way home, I stopped by the local target and got my son his first clothes from mom and dad. I little outfit that said “Handsome Like Daddy” and a little dinosaur romper. I wrapped them up to give to my husband from “Your Son”. I felt that I wanted this night to be special for him as he was going to have a first born son. Note: I would have done the same thing if it had been a daughter.
Once he got home and he opened the present he said, very softly, “I think we should name him William. Your grandfather’s name was William and I am a descendent of William the Conqueror so it represents both sides of our family.” I agreed, tears in my eyes, as we both called our parents to tell them the news – we were having a boy and giving him a family name.